Trigger warning: describes sexual abuse and incest
I grew up in a household that was very open about sex. My siblings and I found out about it from our parents, and there was an ongoing dialogue between us as we grew up. I was curious about my sexuality as a teenage girl. I was constantly horny, and at 14 I began to masturbate frequently. I felt only a little embarrassment, and I was the first of my female friends to admit to it.
When I was 15, my 25-year-old cousin touched me. I’d never done anything but kiss a boy before then. He did it several times on different nights, and I always pretended to sleep. Although it scared me, he was very handsome and I also felt flattered and turned on. It made me wet. I’ve never fully shaken the sense of internal conflict I experienced from being both disturbed and excited by his inappropriate touch. I’ve only told a few people about what he did, and I never admitted that it made me wet.
I’m married now and have a really great sex life. We are free and open and not afraid to play around with fantasies and boundaries. I’m 30 now, and after having sex with my husband for 10 years, it has only gotten better. I have multiple orgasms almost every time. They are crazy intense, to the point I sometimes feel afraid to come just before it happens. I don’t think anything makes me feel more alive than sex.